tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post7275623869671331539..comments2023-09-22T13:31:19.206-04:00Comments on Split-Second Single Father: On Visiting the StoneSplit-Second Single Fatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00192370092337202063noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-76796764159976334402009-04-30T20:13:00.000-04:002009-04-30T20:13:00.000-04:00Mars Girl (1 and 2) - 1. It was precious and heart...Mars Girl (1 and 2) - 1. It was precious and heartbreaking all at once. Time cannot distance me from my emotions during a moment like that. <br /><br />2. I'd never heard about the "double-burial" idea. I think beside will suit me just fine...<br /><br />Chillin' - You're right, it is just a spot. I try to reinforce the idea to my daughter that her mommy is not there. I hope it helps reduce the pain and awkwardness of the cemetery visits while instilling in her mind the reality of Heaven.<br /><br />Roads - An extended family member, who was widowed just a few weeks before me, went through a similar situation with her husband's parents. I cannot imagine what that was like for her or for you. My in-laws were very supportive of what I wanted and were hesitant to offer an opinion, even when asked. I'm not sure I realized what a blessing that was at the time.<br /><br />Widower Dad - I've often wondered what I would do if I remarry (someday) and am married to her for the majority of what remains of my lifetime. Is it fair to ask her to be buried alone while I am buried next to a woman she (most likely) never met? It's just another of the questions someone our age shouldn't have to consider. (See Mars Girl's second comment for an interesting idea she had for you...)Split-Second Single Fatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00192370092337202063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-63703923796338666012009-04-30T13:48:00.000-04:002009-04-30T13:48:00.000-04:00If you change your mind, as gruesome as this sound...If you change your mind, as gruesome as this sounds, I think they can put plots on top of each other... ie, you could be buried, literally, on top of your wife. So I think you if you decide you really want to buried near your wife, you still have options...Mars Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11403414048823693159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-83710561904459475732009-04-29T15:47:00.000-04:002009-04-29T15:47:00.000-04:00I'm a bit lagging in my blog reading and just came...I'm a bit lagging in my blog reading and just came back to read you again today. Ironically I just went to my wife's stone this morning. When I picked it out I debated back and forth if I wanted the place next to it. I wasn't ready to commit so I put it off. This morning I saw that it was now in use.<br /><br />I was relieved. It's one more decision that I no longer have to ponder; someone else unknowingly made it for me. I'm still not sure it's what I would've wanted...but that no longer matters.The Widower Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02162215571133066002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-16835143291040299602009-04-29T05:01:00.000-04:002009-04-29T05:01:00.000-04:00Yes, you captured that really well. There is a sto...Yes, you captured that really well. There is a stone in our lives, too, and we've lived some similar times in visiting there. As in your case, it's where she grew up, and around 100 miles from where we live.<br /><br />My kids have never cried there (although I have, many times). I tried as best as I could to make it a happy place for them, and that started with them running happily around as they played in the graveyard.<br /><br />There was another sad backstory to the stone as well, since there was a long dispute with her family about the words which would appear on the stone. That was desperately hard to cope with, and it threatened to split that relationship wide apart. It didn't, not quite, but it wasn't easy, either.<br /><br />Best wishes and much admiration to you, from London.Roadshttp://thepriceoflove.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-23702876210524598262009-04-28T20:30:00.000-04:002009-04-28T20:30:00.000-04:00beautiful. i went almost daily to "his spot" for a...beautiful. i went almost daily to "his spot" for about a month. then i moved back home, and now it feels like it "belongs" to my in-laws. When i bought the spot and picked it out, I only remember repeating over and over again, "he is not here. it is just a spot." <br /><br />thanks for sharing.Chillin' with Lemonadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10627186619951420386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-2100125895279517942009-04-28T08:48:00.000-04:002009-04-28T08:48:00.000-04:00Beautiful entry, Split-Second... I almost cried at...Beautiful entry, Split-Second... I almost cried at the part where your daughter hugged the stone. How precious! It's too bad the stone is cold, not nice and warm like the person whom it represents... Very touching! Those places where we lay our loved ones to rest our sacred. My husband's ashes are scattered atop a mountain in Colorado... I went back there last summer. It always feels good to visit. I do feel like something of him roams there. If only my memories floating around the spot.Mars Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11403414048823693159noreply@blogger.com