tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post6528099690512138347..comments2023-09-22T13:31:19.206-04:00Comments on Split-Second Single Father: On Being a Mom by DefaultSplit-Second Single Fatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00192370092337202063noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-76431541817827247452010-05-20T23:47:28.042-04:002010-05-20T23:47:28.042-04:00I totally agree that you might want to skip church...I totally agree that you might want to skip church on Mother's Day. My kids and I skip it on Father's Day .... for the same reasons, although less fuss seems to be made on that day. But still ..... it's easier to avoid it.<br />For all of us.<br />Good post.<br />:)Janinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00949809367923657970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-51436209524139236732010-05-18T15:04:18.054-04:002010-05-18T15:04:18.054-04:00I understand. Fathers day brings the same issues ...I understand. Fathers day brings the same issues in our house, and if if was't for the things that my son brought home from school on Mothers day I would not have received anything for my children are little and unable to get stuff on their own for me. Thanks for your post!David and Emily McKayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10025508818912834293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-84398002008407890252010-05-10T15:37:17.655-04:002010-05-10T15:37:17.655-04:00I find it really interesting to read a widower'...I find it really interesting to read a widower's take on this stupid holiday. I know I've had a hard time with Mother's Day since Charley died, but for whatever reason, Father's Day doesn't bother me. Perhaps it's because I know he didn't make a big fuss over the day to start with, but I think it also helps because he only had one; there aren't years upon years of Father's Day to sting me now. But who knows why, exactly. But I also confess to being glad that school is out before we hit Father's Day, so that I'm spared all the dead-daddy issues with school/daycare/etc.<br /><br />So does Father's Day bother you as well? (I didn't go back among your archived posts to find out.)<br /><br />I also really appreciate reading the detailed explanations of how grief continues to hit you and your daughter as you get farther out from your wife's death. I know many widows, but few widowers my age (um...2? 3?...and other than Matt, I've never met any of you in person), and it really helps me to hear both the commonalities and the potential differences because of gender. Plus, my daughter is almost 6 too...but she's been spared most grief so far purely by virtue of her age when he died and that she has no memories of her father. I have no idea if that "luck" will hold or not as she starts elementary school next fall or not.<br /><br />Best wishes to you as you continue to mire your way through the fresh bouts of grief lately....<br /><br />CandiceCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-23998060044094383952010-05-10T11:57:34.541-04:002010-05-10T11:57:34.541-04:00Great narrative about the pitfalls, and peaks, of ...Great narrative about the pitfalls, and peaks, of Mother's Day. This was the first year that I didn't have to intervene with any classroom celebration/gift giving for Mother's Day. In the past I also told the kids to pick out any of the women in their lives to honor and celebrate. A couple of years ago we learned that their birth mother had died. This was a very big blow to all of them. All of their hopes and dreams of one day having her living life in a healthier way, and possibly being in their life, came to an end. <br /><br />This year we focused out attention on my mother in law, as it was her first holiday without Michael. It turned out to be a very good decision. We all had a wonderful time, as did my mother in law. I think that we do the best we can to help our kids decide for themselves how to participate in this holiday. In know that by now, my kids understand that they have choices in how to either 'get through' or 'celebrate' a somewhat loaded holiday.<br /><br />Best wishes to you.<br /><br />DanDanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02218009891182171803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630059780501449621.post-68000673544462500422010-05-10T11:15:52.115-04:002010-05-10T11:15:52.115-04:00I sure understand your feelings. Father's Day...I sure understand your feelings. Father's Day brings the same grief and dread in our lives. We cringe at all the commercials that litter the airwaves and at all the reminders that my kids don't have a Dad anymore. I can actually say I hate Father's Day, even though I still have my Dad and feel guilty that I barely want to acknowledge it for him. I feel so bad for my sons that it feels wrong to celebrate the fact that I still have a Dad. I'm hoping that these feelings soften over time. I'm already dreading June 20th, and it's still weeks away. Just one more thing that makes this journey harder. Add it to the very long list:)Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.com